About 2 weeks ago I signed up to spareroom.co.uk. Having
happily cohabitated with 2 of my friends for the last year in Arsenal (you know
the footie is on when your room smells like onions on a Saturday morning or you
can’t get onto the tube on a Wednesday night) our lease is almost up and we are
all moving to pastures new. N has bought a cosy little flat a little further
north in yummy mummy town aka Crouch end S will go back to being a student.
That means I will be homeless in about 8 weeks time unless I find another
abode, preferably with some lovely people who will eventually become friends as
well as flatmates. I always complain that I never meet new people anymore
(despite the fact that I have trouble seeing all my friends on a regular basis
already) so making new friends via a lovely new flat share seemed like a good
idea. That is how I have come to call spareroom.co.uk my new and temporary “home”.
However, I cannot shake the feeling that finding a room in
London via a website like spareroom.co.uk is a lot like internet dating. I once
signed up to an online dating site with a friend (we were looking to find her a
'husband' asap; some might call that ‘desperation dating’, and it was good for a laugh. I joined out of solidarity of course!) and the process of
signing up to spareroom gave me a sudden flash back to that drunk evening spend
deciding what to put on our profiles. Just this time it was all about serious
because if I failed to do this exercise properly I would find myself having to
couch surf at the mercy of my plentiful friends until someone was kind enough
to offer me a new home.
Writing an ad for the site is all about selling yourself:
what makes you a good housemate, why they should pick you over others and it is
all about picking the right amount of detail over too much information. Then
there is the picture. You want to look good and approachable, like a nice
person, their new best friend but not so pretty that the girls get scared you
might steal their boyfriend and just hot enough that they guys will say yes to
having you as a house mate (we all know that, even though we might not like to
admit it, looks can sometimes be a deciding factor in who gets a room in a
shared house). You also don’t want to sound like the run of the mill person –
everyone likes hanging out with their friends, going out and movies (or almost
anyone, Becca from Pitch Perfect certainly didn’t until a boy changed her
mind). There has to be something special about you. A certain ‘X-Factor’
quality but you don’t need to be able to sing (bonus brownie points if you can
though).
The same applies to a good dating profile I would say. I
remember flicking through hundreds of them while trying to find K a husband. A
lot of them were just so samie and, quite frankly, boring. There was nothing
that suggested that they had put much effort into writing their descriptions
which probably reflects on the nature of dating websites which, many would
argue, are just an online meat market where men can take their pick up
desperate women. And while I would disagree with this statement (I know a few
people who have met their current partner online, one of my oldest friends just
married a girl she met online for god’s sake!), it does appear that the girl’s
profiles are usually constructed with a lot more thought and care than the one’s
from the guys. You could potentially argue that women in general spend more
time putting themselves together and making sure they look good but I would argue
that in today’s world, particularly in London, it is just as important for a
guy to look good and smart as it is for a girl (though I can think of an
example or two of guys who seem to get skirt all the time leaving me to wonder
what magical powers they posses as it is not something you would have
expected!).
Once you have convinced someone that you are worthy of
coming to see the flat/room at an agreed date and time (trust me I got rejected
by a few places; I was particularly hurt to be rejected by an Aussie/Kiwi Flat
share in Clapham for being ‘unsuitable’). It is much like a first blind date. You
don’t quite know what to expect, whether the room will look anything like it
did in the pictures and what the housemates will be like. The only different to
a blind date is, really, that you know that there will be someone there
waiting. The reassurance that you will not be stood up is something that makes
going to see a flat a lot less scary than a blind date but not any less nerve
wrecking. You still want to make that compelling, amazing first impression to
make sure that room will soon be yours (if you want it that is) over all the
other people fighting for it.
You want them to like you, to be dazzled by you and you want
them to beg you to move in because you are “the perfect housemate for them and
no one else will do”. Just kidding! That would be a bit creepy and come off as
majorly desperate, which is not attractive in any case, whether it would be
dating or flat hunting. But you do want them, at the end of the day, to turn
around and ask you to move in over all the other people who applied. This, of
course, will also be a mix of you looking to move at the appropriate time,
having the cash to spend as well as the likability factor.
Once you have seen the house and the room there are two
possible outcomes: first, you want the room or second, you don’t. If the latter
is the case it’s quite simply. Don’t contact them again and politely tell them “no,
thanks” if they happen to contact you again. Things are a bit more complicated
with the former. If you want the room things then turn a bit tricky. You need
to let them know that you want it. That you would love to move in. That you are
excited to have 3 (or more) new friends waiting for you (if that is what you
want out of a house share of course!). Then it is all about waiting to see
whether they call you to tell you that you are their chose one or whether they
will just never contact you again. This is the point in time when you can
safely assume that you have not been selected to move in. Once again, it is
much like dating in that you are waiting to see if they text to ask to see you
again. Fingers crossed!
When they do call or text to say they would like to “see you
again” aka meet the flatmates that you might not have met and to have a second
look in some cases you should get little butterflies of excitement flapping
around your tummy. Moving house is just as exciting as it is scary. Much like
starting a new relationship or even a friendship you can never quite be sure
that it is going to work out. But if it does it is a beautiful thing. I love my
current housemates; yes they can drive me up the wall sometimes but I am sure
it is the same for them with me. But we have lots of fun at the same time and I
wouldn’t want to miss out on the past year with them for anything. The thought
of saying goodbye to them soon makes me sad. But sometimes moving on is a good
thing and the most important thing of it all is that we have managed to remain
friends through a year of living together. Not something everyone can say for
themselves.
For now my flat hunting adventures continue until I have
found my new house. To be continued.....
Picture credits
Home Sweet Home: LilyLovesLola
All others my own